I am usually a detached person especially when talking about death. Maybe, being the eldest in the family I was given no choice but to assume a strong personality when my mother died unexpectedly and eventually our father. I can’t show my tears to my siblings not because I am ashamed. I simply must not. I needed to be stable to let everyone know that life must go on.

I can even remember making a joke as the crate bearing my father’s body and casket was being opened as everybody around was crying loud. It may be off but I have to tell everyone that our dearest father must be allowed to rest after almost eight years of waking up at 3 a.m. twice a week just to catch the early bus for his dialysis.

Sometimes, though, there are really deaths that cause us to feel so down and shed tears in silence. We may not know them in person but the circumstances of life have brought us the knowledge of their own sufferings and stories. We simply cannot detach ourselves with the idea of their passing and how they left.

I too don’t know if I am writing this as a tribute since the person and her family does not even know that I knew a little somehow about her and their story. I am referring to a mother who I came to know about through the stories shared by her niece.

She was a mother and a wife living a happy life with no pretentions. She was kind yet frank about everything. The life she has chosen was the simple one despite being capable and able to spend for anything at any given time. I remember a funny story I heard after her children brought her to an expensive restaurant. She had to put up a beautiful and satisfying smile and eat with gusto so as not to offend her in-laws. Coming home, she went straight to the table and eat with the usual poor man’s food on the table. Nobody asked but she volunteered that she’s hungry.

Until, she fell sick. The happy life she led changed and she was in and out of the hospital for treatment. Lately, she fell seriously ill. Treatment and access to a better health care was never a problem but her situation worsened. There were even stories that the medical treatment will not help maybe because an unknown being from another dimension caused her illness and she will need the help of an albularyo or an herb doctor.

After several attacks and revivals, her situation deteriorated and her children made the ultimate decision of signing the DNR document. She however passed through the number of days given by her medical doctors. In fact, she stayed further and beyond until her vital statistics went low. A priest was called to perform the last rites for her in front of her husband and children. Yet, she simply won’t go and was apparently holding on.

Then the idea of renewing her and her husband’s marital vows came in. Forgotten by everyone because of the pandemic and other circumstances, she had mentioned if not planned of it three years ago. Her daughter rushed outside the hospital to buy a ring and to everybody’s disbelief she held on. One can only imagine the traffic situation in Manila and to have waited for the ring is something. As the priest performed the rites for the renewal of their marriage and just as the ring was inserted by her husband on her ring finger, the monitor on her beside went flat.

Love conquers all they say. It was her only wish and battle. The sound of the vital monitor filled the room with bittersweet emotions. Her husband held her hand a little longer. I got a message the she finally gave in. No matter how I contained my emotions, the manner of how she waited for the ring before passing seemed to have stabbed a needle inside me.

May she rest in peace.