“Nobody touches my ding dongs!”― Ray S. Jones

THOSE who are fuming mad that disbarred lawyer and defeated senatorial candidate Larry Gadon has been gifted by President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. with the portfolio of anti-poverty czar, should instead heave a sigh of relief.

We know that Gadon may be sometimes unhinged and his mouth frothing with profanities and vitriol even against women. In other words, he’s a potential troublemaker.

His new office, at least, doesn’t give him the power to harass and bark bitterly at critics of Mr. Marcos Jr. as he will be dealing primarily with the destitute and those who need three square meals a day but don’t have the capacity to feed themselves.

If hot-tempered Gadon loses his patience and gets furious with those foraging for food and livelihood assistance, he can’t just pillory them and yell “pakyu” and “photang’na nyo” or he’ll end up being butchered by kuatro kantos, balisong, ice pick, and Indian pana.

We should be worried and alarmed only if Gadon was appointed as justice secretary (his appointment came before the Supreme court’s 15-0 disbarment verdict) or presidential spokesman where, aside from spewing a verbal sulfuric acid at the Marcos Jr. administration’s media and political critics, he could also mangle the facts and twist the truth on a regular basis while being paid by the taxpayers.

At least Mr. Marcos Jr., hogtied and held hostage by election losers queuing for employment after the one year appointment ban, was aware how not to place a square peg in a round hole.

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In a display of bravado and to smokescreen the rat inside his abdomen following the tense short lived mutiny of Russian oligarch and Wagner mercenary leader Yevgeny Viktorovich Prigozhin recently, Russian President Vladimir Putin was seen waving at his civilian admirers and shaking their hands during a visit at the Naryn-Kala fortress in Derbent, Russia June 28.

It was a good public display of strength and confidence; a brilliant PR stunt only days after the failed rebellion.

But, oops, poker face Putin was also caught in the camera doing an Augusto “Boboy” Syjuco, the late former Iloilo second district representative and former Tesda chief.

While shaking the hands of those who approached and greeted him, something he seldom did due to extreme security protocol, according to political observers, Putin, in white long sleeves, mistakenly offered his right arm for a handshake to a member of his security, who didn’t take it.

Sometime in 2003 during a big party in Hotel del Rio, Iloilo City, Syjuco, who loved to embrace and kiss individuals he met in social and political gatherings, entered the ballroom from the poolside in the Igmaan Hall and started embracing and kissing people (including me, his No. 1 media critic).

The last person he embraced and kissed was his own bodyguard he didn’t notice was already standing inside ahead of him.

While Putin realized his “mistake”, Syjuco (God bless his soul) never noticed the gaffe as nobody in the party wanted him to be embarrassed.

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We warn our friends and kababayans to be ready for the heat wave that is expected to bake California this week.

An abrupt shift reportedly occurred from cooler-than-average temperatures to triple digits in the state which, according to experts, will increase the risk of heat-related illnesses.

The New York Times reported June 28 that the Golden State has recently been locked into a cloudier-and chillier-than-usual weather pattern, a stark contrast to the extreme heat gripping so much of the country.

According to The San Francisco Chronicle, the city had not yet hit 70 degrees this month, only the third time in a century that June has been that cool.

But hotter conditions are reportedly on the way. A high-pressure system building over the Pacific and moving into the Western United States is expected to raise temperatures in California beginning June 28, with the highest readings expected over the weekend.

(The author, who is now based in New York City, used to be the editor of two daily newspapers in Iloilo.—Ed)